Really Freakin Tired

I'm really tired right now. And I still have lots of homework to do, children to care for, etc. I also feel crappy. Yay. I hate Valentine's Day.
GRR
Xkcd hasn't updated since Friday. :( I'm dying inside. I miss my love!!!
Also I'm tired...a lot. And I should probably sleep but I'm confuzzled and wired right now. And weird...
I hate everything.
Anyway, instead of being productive or sleeping, I'm going to post some poems with no titles. Screw titles. I hate titles. I spit on titles.
So there.
Like them or die.
Umm...so I read these again and feel I should warn you guys they are kind of weird...so maybe don't read them if you are easily weirded out. Poetry is my outlet when I'm really upset...Plus they suck so...

1. (and by the way I hate you you effing bastard)
I
have been kissed by the dying sun
you
on a day in late October
when
the leaves, still breathing green
barely stirred inside the sky
we
when the air was thin and tearing
held
with eyes locked on the world
wrapped
in the blissful calm surrender
small
all the rapture-spin of
life

2. After (I lied some of them have titles)

After
there comes a feeling
of falling too quickly
a st
ep before you are ready

Jarring
you look up, but,
you can't go back

And it's all over
before it had even begun

3.
I can't stop thinking about you
You are on every inhale
that gasp of breath
it brings me back to life
And
I feel like
maybe
I died while you were gone
because
You are like my air
and without you
I drown in the sameness of life

4. Sliding in and Out of Reality

He said that one poet
is poison to another
(and Robert Frost is just ridiculous)
and I agree.
So I started wondering
if we are much alike
(though I seem to think that far too often nowadays).
Would we get along?
We could run away together.
Live around the world
on no short supply of toast and alcohol.
And I would be happy
I think.
If only I had been born
70 years ago
or even nine days later
Somewhere else
near to you.

But either way, you are there.

I hate you
for introducing us,
But then you couldn't know
what would happen.
And then it's one reason
I love you so much.
But the thing is,
I should really leave both of you.

I'm tired of speeding up
to slow back down
to catch you.

Being close is like this
sickening torture.
I twist in impossible acrobatics
just to stay stable.
But it's not working.
I love you
and
hate you
and
need you
and need to keep you away.

A needle slides under my skin.

Pupils flash white.

Face a study of grey and red.

A shock runs through me
every time I see you.
An icy hand on my wrist
spinning me around.

And here's the hard part:
filling a page with thoughts of you
is far too easy
and you don't care.

So I can't support myself.
I collapse
and clutch
at any breath of attention I can get
and drive it farther away.

As if that weren't enough,
you've broken me further
It's me
and you
and him
and her
and her
and all of us
are poured and spun and blended
in my thoughts.

Lucky for you I'm the only one who feels it.

And now I'm clinging to him
since I can't have you.
Which is ironic,
isn't it?
And even if I want to leave him,
I'll hold on now.
Because of you.

In some weird mirrored world,
we three dance.

And I am (always) the loser.

5. yeah he turned out to be a damn waste of space

6.
Bruises
are an interesting contraption
of all the angry, soft, and sad colors
bleeding into one embittered spot
A scar
a badge of pride and fear
with that greasy line of shame
running through the middle

7.
What you did to me
I endured it
I called myself brave
with the oxygen of that word
keeping me breathing
but now I know
that it was a lie
an opium to the masses
too weak to shoulder this burden.

She caught it too
and held it better
I
am merely a weaker acolyte
realizing for the first time
that this ordeal
was nothing to be proud of.

8. Don't Speak

Silence
All ye dogs of men
All ye hounds of hell
cease the noise
that fills this fragmenting day

Quiet
All you crawling birds
And you flying beasts
leave in peace
Your worrying of the earth

Deaden
All these bastards of flame
You children of water
boil the sea
to sand and salt and air

Sharpen
All daughters of men
All sons of women
Snap to heel
the end is coming soon

That's the end of them. These are mostly raw, I haven't done much editing even down to line breaks on some of them. So they're still alive and changing I suppose. Anyway, basically those are over the past two years...older ones are at home. Also cheerier? Yeah, no. I don't really write happy poems. Catharsis and all that. Yay.
I do actually feel better.
So much so that I'm posting the most depressing of the lot!
Joy?
Don't read it if you feel happy right now.
Flee.
Flee to the happiness!
Shoo! Shoo!
Happy people gone?
Okay.

Eh I lied.
It's long and I'm tired.